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Mario's multiverse journey

The Fox’s Den and the Metal Maiden’s Fury

The transition from the frozen, skeletal remains of Copper-9 to this new, humid atmosphere was like being slapped in the face with a hot, wet towel. Mario groaned, his face buried in what felt like very expensive silk rather than the jagged snow he had grown accustomed to. As he pushed himself up, his hands brushed against a fabric that felt far too formal for his usual "lazy plumber" aesthetic.

"Mama mia," Mario muttered, blinking the stars out of his eyes. "Did the portal drop us into a laundry mat?"

SMG4 groaned nearby, picking himself up from a floor of polished dark wood. "Everyone alive? Luigi? Meggy?"

"I’m here," Meggy called out, shaking her head. "But... guys, look at Mario."

The crew turned their gaze toward the plumber, and their jaws collectively hit the floor. Mario was no longer wearing his iconic red overalls and blue shirt. Instead, he was clad in a crisp, pristine white commander’s uniform, complete with gold-braided epaulettes, a high collar, and a peaked cap that sat slightly askew on his head. On his chest was a sigil—a stylized cherry blossom wrapped in a golden circle.

"Mario, you look... competent?" Tari blinked, her robotic eye zooming in on the embroidery. "There’s writing on the sleeve. It says... 'Sakura Empire'?"

V, who had landed on her feet with the grace of a predatory cat, was currently busy recalibrating her sensors. She looked at Mario, her yellow visor flickering. The sight of him in the sharp, white uniform did something to her internal cooling system. Her tail flicked violently, the nanite-filled syringe at the end twitching.

"I don't know what a 'Sakura' is," V hissed, stepping toward Mario and dusting off his shoulder with a claw that she had retracted just enough to not shred the fabric. "But this outfit makes you look like a much higher-quality snack."

"Mario is a captain!" Mario cheered, puffing out his chest and accidentally popping a button. "Look at me! I’m-a the boss of the boats!"

"You're the boss of a bowl of cereal, Mario," SMG4 sighed, though he looked around with genuine curiosity.

They weren't in Bowser's basement anymore. The volcanic landscape they had glimpsed for a split second during the fall had been a mere waypoint. They were now standing on a massive, sprawling balcony of a traditional Japanese-style palace. Below them lay a breathtaking harbor filled with colossal warships, their hulls etched with glowing runes and advanced technology that seemed to blend the ancient with the futuristic. Giant cherry blossom trees, their petals glowing with a faint pink light, lined the streets of a bustling city that looked like an anime fever dream.

"This isn't the Mushroom Kingdom," Luigi whimpered, clutching his hat. "And it definitely isn't Ohio."

"It's the Sakura Empire," a voice whispered from the shadows of the balcony's pillars.

Before anyone could react, a blur of brown and white fur streaked across the polished wood. With a cry of "Commander!", a girl with long, flowing brown hair and several fluffy fox tails slammed into Mario’s midsection.

The impact sent Mario sprawling backward. "Oof! My spaghetti-bits!"

The girl was pinned to his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. She wore a red and black outfit that looked like a modified shrine maiden’s dress, and her fox ears twitched with pure, unadulterated joy.

"Commander! You’ve returned! Akagi has missed you so, so much," she crooned, nuzzling her face into his neck. Her eyes had a distinct, crimson glow that screamed 'dangerously obsessed.' "I felt your presence the moment you stepped through the fold. I won't let you leave again. Never, ever, ever."

Mario, being Mario, didn't seem bothered by the fact that a literal fox-woman was currently trying to merge with his ribcage. He blinked, looked down at the fluffy ears, and a slow grin spread across his face.

"Ooh, a puppy!" Mario laughed, reaching up and vigorously patting the girl between her ears. "Good doggy! Do you have-a the treats? Mario wants a biscuit!"

Akagi froze. No one had ever dared to treat the pride of the First Carrier Division like a common pet. Her tails fluffed up to twice their size, but instead of anger, a deep, dark blush spread across her cheeks. "Oh... Commander... your touch is so... bold..."

The sound of grinding metal echoed across the balcony.

V was standing five feet away, her visor showing a massive, jagged yellow 'X'. Her wings had snapped open, the blade-feathers vibrating with a high-pitched hum. Her tail was raised, the needle dripping a sizzling drop of nanite acid onto the floor.

"Hey. Fur-ball," V’s voice was a low, glitchy growl that sent shivers down Luigi’s spine. "Get. Off. Him."

Akagi looked up, her crimson eyes meeting V’s yellow ones. The air temperature seemed to drop twenty degrees. "And who might this scrap-heap be? A new siren model? You’re awfully loud for a toaster."

"I’m the one who’s going to turn your tails into a rug if you don't un-hand my idiot," V retorted, her hands shifting into serrated claws.

"Your idiot?" Akagi giggled, a sound that was somehow scarier than V’s growl. "The Commander belongs to the Sakura Empire. He belongs to *me*."

"Guys, maybe we should intervene?" Tari whispered, clutching her arm. "They look like they’re going to kill each other."

"I’m staying out of it," Bob said, sitting down on a nearby crate and pulling out a bag of popcorn he had apparently been hiding in his rags. "This is better than any anime I've seen. Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"Mario, get up!" Meggy yelled, reaching out to pull him away.

But before Mario could even attempt to stand, another flash of white appeared. A second girl, this one with snowy white hair and matching white fox tails, glided into the fray. She looked calmer than the first, but her eyes held an intensity that was just as frightening.

"Sister, you shouldn't hog the Commander all to yourself," the white-haired girl said, her voice like falling silk. This was Kaga, and she wasted no time. She leaned down, pushing Akagi slightly to the side so she could wrap her own arms around Mario’s waist. "The coldness of the sea was unbearable without your guidance, Commander."

Mario looked at the white fox, then at the brown fox, and then at V. He was currently being hugged by two beautiful ship-girls while a murderous robot hovered over him.

"Wow," Mario said, his eyes turning into spinning coins. "Mario is-a the meat in a fox sandwich! Wahoo!"

He reached out and began patting Kaga’s head as well. "You're a soft doggy too! Are you the milk-flavored one?"

Kaga blinked, her stoic expression cracking for a brief second. "Milk... flavored? Your metaphors are as eccentric as always, Commander."

V had seen enough. With a scream of digital rage, she lunged forward. "THAT’S IT! THE FOX IS GOING IN THE DISPOSAL!"

V’s claws clashed against a blue, glowing barrier that Kaga had instinctively raised. The impact created a shockwave that blew the hats off SMG4 and Luigi.

"How dare you attack a lady of the Empire!" Akagi snarled, her calm facade finally breaking. Several glowing red paper charms appeared in her hand, ignited by blue fox-fire. "I'll burn you down to your circuits!"

"Try it, Barbie!" V yelled, her wings flapping as she hovered in the air, her chest cannons sliding into place. "I’ve killed entire civilizations of robots! A couple of overgrown squirrels won't stop me!"

"Mario, do something!" SMG4 screamed, ducking behind a pillar as a stray fireball scorched the ceiling.

Mario looked at the three women fighting over him. He looked at the fire, the claws, and the glowing charms. Then, he looked at his stomach, which let out a roar louder than any of V’s engines.

"HEY!" Mario bellowed.

The sheer volume of the shout, combined with its unexpectedness, caused the three combatants to pause. V hovered in mid-air, a missile halfway out of her shoulder pod. Akagi held a flaming charm inches from V’s face, and Kaga was prepared to summon a literal fighter plane.

"MARIO IS HUNGRY!" the plumber shouted, standing up and shaking the two fox girls off him like they were annoying flies. "I don't care about the fighting! I don't care about the Empire! I want-a the spaghetti! And I want it NOW!"

Akagi and Kaga stared at him in stunned silence. Then, Akagi’s eyes softened into a look of pure adoration. "Oh, listen to him! So commanding! So decisive! Of course, Commander! The finest chefs in the Empire shall prepare a feast for you immediately!"

"I shall oversee the preparations myself," Kaga added, bowing gracefully. "Only the best for our tactician."

V landed on the ground, her claws retracting with a frustrated *snikt*. She crossed her arms, her tail lashing back and forth. "Fine. Whatever. Feed him. But I’m tasting everything first to make sure you didn't put any 'love potions' or whatever weird crap you foxes use in it."

Akagi narrowed her eyes at V. "You are a very rude piece of equipment. But if the Commander wishes for your presence, I suppose I can tolerate your existence... for now."

"Don't do me any favors, fur-stack," V snapped.

As the two fox girls began to lead Mario toward the grand dining hall—each of them clinging to one of his arms—the SMG4 crew followed behind in a state of shell-shock.

"So, let me get this straight," Meggy said, rubbing her temples. "Mario is now the 'Commander' of a fleet of magical ship-girls who want to marry him, and he’s being guarded by a psychopathic murder drone who also wants to... well, I don't even know what V wants with him."

"Probably to keep him as a pet," Luigi suggested.

"I just want to know if they have any gold," Bob added. "This place looks expensive. I bet I could sell one of those fox tails for a fortune on the black market."

"Bob, if you touch one of them, V won't even be the one to kill you," SMG4 warned, gesturing to the hundreds of other ship-girls who were now lining the hallways, whispering and bowing as Mario walked past.

They entered a massive dining hall where a table the size of a bowling alley was already being covered in dishes. There were mountains of sushi, tempura, and, much to Mario’s delight, a giant, steaming vat of noodles that looked suspiciously like spaghetti, even if it was technically ramen.

Mario dived into the food head-first, literally.

Akagi sat on his left, feeding him pieces of sashimi with chopsticks, her expression one of blissful obsession. Kaga sat on his right, pouring him a cup of green tea with practiced elegance.

V, meanwhile, sat directly across from them on top of the table, her legs crossed and her wings spread out to block anyone else from getting a good view of Mario. She was currently holding a piece of tempura shrimp with two fingers, staring at it suspiciously.

"Is this poisoned?" V asked, her visor flickering.

"It is a delicacy," Kaga replied coldly. "Though I doubt a machine has the palate to appreciate it."

V popped the shrimp into her mouth, chewed it loudly—despite not having a digestive system—and swallowed. "Needs more oil. And salt. And the blood of my enemies."

"I like this girl," Akagi whispered to Kaga. "She’s almost as crazy as I am."

"That is not a compliment, sister," Kaga sighed.

As the meal progressed, the tension in the room remained thick enough to cut with a knife. Every time Akagi leaned too close to Mario, V’s tail would twitch toward her throat. Every time V made a snarky comment, Kaga’s hand would drift toward her katana.

The SMG4 crew sat at the far end of the table, eating awkwardly.

"So," SMG4 said, trying to break the ice with a nearby ship-girl who had rabbit ears. "Do you guys have a way to open portals? We’re kind of... lost."

The girl, Souryuu, adjusted her glasses. "Portals? The Mirror Seas are capable of such phenomena, but they are dangerous and unpredictable. Why would you wish to leave? The Commander has finally returned to us."

"That 'Commander' is a guy who once got his head stuck in a microwave because he thought it was a hat," Meggy pointed out.

"A brilliant tactical maneuver to test the durability of household appliances!" Akagi chimed in from the other end of the table, having overheard. "His genius is frightening!"

"He's not a genius, he's a moron!" V shouted, slamming her fist onto the table. "But he's *my* moron! So back off with the 'Commander' talk!"

"He is the soul of this fleet!" Akagi stood up, her fox-fire flaring. "And I will not have a walking trash-can insult him!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TRASH-CAN?!"

V leaped across the table, her claws out. Akagi summoned a swarm of planes that looked like paper cranes, which immediately grew to full size, buzzing around the room.

"Wahoo! Airplanes!" Mario cheered, his mouth full of noodles.

"Mario, this is a disaster!" Luigi wailed, ducking under the table as a miniature bomb exploded near a plate of gyoza.

The dining hall turned into a war zone. V was zipping through the air, slicing through Akagi’s planes with her wings, while Kaga tried to freeze V’s joints with ice-elemental shells. The SMG4 crew was busy trying to save as much food as possible while avoiding getting caught in the crossfire.

In the midst of the chaos, the floor began to vibrate. A low, humming sound filled the room, drowning out the sounds of battle.

In the center of the hall, the air began to ripple once more. The same violet-and-black energy that had followed them from the Mushroom Kingdom and Copper-9 began to tear open the space above the dinner table.

"Oh, come on!" SMG4 yelled. "Not again!"

This time, the portal didn't just suck things in. It began to pull the very light out of the room. A massive, shadowy hand, made of glitching code and dark energy, reached out from the void. It swiped across the table, heading straight for Mario.

"COMMANDER!" Akagi and Kaga screamed in unison, reaching for him.

"MARIO!" V dived, her engines screaming at maximum output.

The hand grabbed Mario, but because V was already clinging to his leg and Akagi and Kaga were clinging to his arms, the portal got more than it bargained for.

"Everyone, grab on!" Meggy shouted, grabbing Akagi’s tails. SMG4 grabbed Meggy, and Luigi grabbed the table, which was bolted to the floor.

"Let go of the table, Luigi!" SMG4 barked.

"No! It's the only thing staying still!"

The suction became too great. The bolts snapped, and the entire table, along with Mario, V, the fox sisters, and the SMG4 crew, was sucked into the swirling abyss.

As they tumbled through the interdimensional tunnel, Mario looked around at the screaming faces of his friends, his robot admirer, and his new fox-girl stalkers.

"You know," Mario said, his voice strangely calm in the vacuum. "Mario is starting to think these grapes don't like me very much."

"SHUT UP, MARIO!" everyone yelled at once.

The light faded, the screaming stopped, and the group plummeted toward a new world—one that looked suspiciously like a high-tech city under a neon-soaked sky, where the sound of heavy metal music and the clanking of gears echoed through the streets.

They crashed into a pile of cardboard boxes in a dark alleyway.

Mario popped his head out, his commander's hat now replaced by a neon-pink headband that had fallen from a nearby trash can. "Ooh. Shiny."

V stood up, shaking her head. She looked around and her eyes widened. "No way."

"What is it?" Meggy asked, dusting herself off.

V pointed to a sign above them. It was a flickering neon advertisement for a product called "Slurm," but next to it was a poster of a robot that looked remarkably like a toaster.

"We’re in the future," SMG4 whispered.

"And I think those foxes are still behind us," Luigi pointed out, gesturing to the two pairs of glowing eyes watching them from the shadows of the boxes.

"Great," V hissed, her claws sliding out. "New world, same problems. Let's go, Mario. We’ve got stuff to break."

"Can we get pizza first?" Mario asked.

"NO!"